Well, it's what I recognize as my biggest mental flaw at the moment - I'm sure there's still more to learn...
But here it goes...
I can easily be classified as a Type A personality - which means I tend to be impatient, controlling, highly competitive, and ambitious. I am most definitely a high-achieving workaholic who multi-tasks, drives myself with deadlines, and can be unhappy about delays. Oh wait - let me add perfectionist tendencies...these can all be an interesting combination when it comes to goal-setting for weight loss (or transformation).
Let me give you a hint - my goals always seem to be unrealistic or impossible. Achieving goals has always been my focus in life... so it was all or nothing - success or failure. Rather than being drawn to a goal by desire to achieve - I tend to impose the goal on myself by a fear of not reaching them, and see anything less than a perfectly met goal as a failure. I set a pretty high standard and expectation on the results and can become so disappointed by anything less than perfection, failure always has been a very scary prospect.
Using my business background - I knew it was important to pick a statistic or metric that encompassed more than one input. I looked at goal setting from a holistic approach - concentrating on Body Composition rather than just relying on weight and/or measurements. If I could hit Body Composition goals, than I was doing all parts of the lifestyle change right - diet and exercise.
So I soon memorized this chart:
So starting at 28.5%, my first self-imposed goal was 24%. The goal in itself was achievable - however, the timeline that I gave myself was unrealistic. So - now comes my first failure. I could have kept all the drama of failure in my head - except that the failure was public. So I didn't just fail myself, but would disappoint my personal trainer also. I can laugh about it now - but the poor personal trainer didn't know what to say.... I was soo disappointed that I missed that ONE NUMBER, that I refused to look at the other successful numbers (10 lbs and over 7 inches). I was doing everything within my power to not breakdown in tears - or get soo mad that I just ended the session early. I looked at it as a complete failure.
And then I went through the stages - anger at myself, denial that I failed, bargaining with myself, and finally acceptance that I failed. So now it was time to set the next goal... here we go again!
Determined that I was not failing again, I set the next goal as 21%. The night before weigh in - I went for a little retail therapy and randomly picked up a red dress at my local TJMaxx. I dubbed it my reality check dress - as I was having a hard time accepting any of the success because of my failures on my unrealistic goals. After a closet full of size 10-12s, that size 4 Calvin Klein dress was a wake up call. So I made a deal with myself - that I would venture outside of my comfort zone and wear the dress if I hit the 21% goal.
But the goal was established with an unrealistic timeline again - and I missed it yet again. I didn't care how close I came - instead just asking for either yes or no. I spent the entire session, not knowing how close I came. A second failure really took an impact on my mind... I refused to acknowledge the success I did have (12 lbs and 7 inches lost). I really wanted to quit at this point - how could I even go into work when my closest co-workers would learn that I failed again.
So how did I get past that 2nd failure? I took a quote I had read - "Fake it until your mind matches" - and made myself wear the red dress to work. I had never owned a size 4 before in my life! The reactions and responses from coworkers became the external validation I was looking for that proved I was making positive progress!
How do I set goals today? I have added fitness achievement goals to the mix in addition to the body composition. I'm looking forward to my 2nd Half Marathon in early December, to see if I can beat my personal record.
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