Whoa! I think I'm starting to get it....Balance & Harmony

I think I just had one of those moments where I realized my obstinate self is finally giving in...

This past weekend I endeavored on my 3rd Half Marathon - Cowtown in Fort Worth.
After the success in hitting a PR at White Rock in December and PR pace for the 15K in January... I set a goal for another PR (personal record for those non-runners).  I wanted 10 minutes faster than White Rock - that's wasn't unrealistic (hehe...yep me and unrealistic expectations).

I trained for the increased pace and endurance at that pace... I was ready. I was excited. I looked forward to another personal achievement in a string of good things I was recently experiencing... This was to be the first event in a string of events over the next 4 weeks - including my first triathlon.

But it didn't happen - life seemed to get in the way of my intentions. Around mile 7, I realized I wasn't going to hit my goal.  Did I give up? Yes and No.... Yes - I did give up if you think that I didn't push myself harder to reach the goal.  But from my rationalizations - it wasn't giving up - it was being smart and conservative in order to be ready for the next 2 events.  So I still finished at 2:16... with walking more of the course than I intended.

My old self would have beat herself up for not achieving the goal... and there are some things I did prior to the race I shouldn't have - I accept responsibility for those bad choices (fried pickles & jalapeno poppers at 9pm before race day... less than 3 hrs sleep on race night).  BUT.....

When I really went back and reflected on the journey to this race, I realized that I think I'm starting to get it... I didn't cry over the missed goal - I didn't cause drama for those around me (haha) - I wasn't in a bad mood.
My attitude over the missed goal had changed.... does this mean I'm finally changing?

What changed? I loved the journey to the race and the experience itself... I love that I have inspired 3 others to run with me - MY TEAM! And I wouldn't change the fun we experienced that weekend for a PR... I will never forget our 5am workouts. I will never forget eating fried pickles, carrot cake, and pecan pie in the Stockyards at 9pm before a 7am race. I will never forget crossing the finish line with my brother beside me (his first half marathon).  I will never forget my partner in crime realizing SHE BEAT ME (her first half marathon)! I will never forget my daughter getting to experience this race with all of us!

Cowtown Half Marathon - February 2011 - MY TEAM!!!!

No more focusing entirely on pursuing goals - I don't want to miss life! And that's when I realized that I am starting to learn balance... to value what's really important in life.

But I want to change my new years resolution from achieving balance to achieving harmony.  One person on their own can achieve balance. But real harmony requires everyone around you - value the relationships that bring out the best in you!

Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony. Thomas Merton